Rethinking the Game We’ve Been Playing
What if we’ve been playing the wrong game all along?
We’re conditioned to think of success as a race—a game with clear rules, fixed winners, and a finish line. Graduate by 22. Land the promotion by 30. Retire by 65.
These milestones become the yardsticks by which we measure our worth, rarely stopping to ask: Are these goals truly ours, or are they inherited from a world that values achievement over meaning?
What if success isn’t a trophy to win but a process to engage in—a game where the goal isn’t to finish but to learn, adapt, and contribute?
This isn’t just a theoretical exercise. It’s a paradigm shift that can reshape how we approach work, relationships, and life. Embracing it would allow us to break free from the constraints of scarcity, comparison, and burnout. It would open the door to greater fulfillment and sustainable growth.
A Primer on Finite vs. Infinite Games
In Finite and Infinite Games James P. Carse introduces two ways of approaching life:
Finite games: These contests have clear rules, known players, and an end goal. Their appeal is in the clarity. Victory is defined, and spoils are tangible.
Infinite games: They are fluid and dynamic, with no final victory. The goal isn’t to win but to keep playing; to adapt, innovate, and evolve.
Finite games provide short-term wins and quick payoffs but can lead to diminishing returns. They’re about ticking boxes and proving worth.
Infinite games, on the other hand, reward long-term vision and sustainable impact. They ask:
What are you building?
Who are you becoming?
Why We’re Drawn to Finite Games
Finite games seduce us with their simplicity: hit this target, get that reward. They promise instant gratification—a promotion, a paycheck, a trophy. Each accomplishment delivers a dopamine hit, keeping us hooked.
But here’s the problem: finite games never truly end. Once you win, a new challenge appears. Over time, the joy of playing fades, replaced by the anxiety of staying ahead.
Our systems reinforce this cycle. Schools prioritize grades over curiosity. Workplaces value hours logged over impact. Social media measures ‘likes’ and ‘shares’ not connection. These metrics are easy to quantify but distract us from deeper fulfillment.
The issue isn’t effort. It’s where the effort goes. Finite games focus on the outcome, not the process. They promise fulfillment but deliver fleeting satisfaction. The challenge isn’t just playing; it’s knowing when to stop.
Know the Game You’re Playing
Have you paused to ask: What game am I playing?
For many of us, the finite game wasn’t a conscious choice. We signed up without fully understanding the rules or the sacrifices it would demand. Symbols of success were dangled before us and we got hooked without questioning the cost to our time, energy, and well-being.
In some sense we surrendered agency without realizing it, letting external systems choose our path. But here’s the truth: If you keep playing the finite game, do it willingly, not blindly. Acknowledge the trade-offs. Recognize the sacrifices. Most importantly, ensure they align with what truly matters to you.
Infinite thinking doesn’t demand we abandon finite goals. It invites us to approach them with clarity and intentionality. If the finite game serves a larger purpose, maybe a stepping stone toward growth or impact, then play it fully but on your terms.
When we consciously decide the rules we follow, we reclaim our agency and redefine what success looks like.
Infinite Games in Action: Lessons from the Real World
Here’s how finite and infinite games look in practice:
Business and Technology
Finite game: A tech company rushes to release the next product, with short-term fixes and incremental updates. Think of annual smartphone cycles: slightly better cameras, and marginally faster processors as a strategy to maintain market share.
Infinite game: Open-source communities like Linux or Mozilla’s Firefox focus on creating tools that empower users and evolve with their needs. The goal isn’t market dominance but building systems that thrive and endure.
Personal Growth
Finite Game: Someone undertakes a 30-day fitness challenge to lose weight for an upcoming event, neglecting the effect on long-term health.
Infinite Game: Another person begins to include exercise, mindfulness, and healthy eating into their lifestyle. This approach prioritizes well-being as an ongoing journey, not a short-term goal.
Education
Finite Game: A student pulls an all-nighter to cram for a test to earn a high grade, without retaining or understanding the material.
Infinite Game: A lifelong learner reads widely, takes courses out of interest, and values understanding beyond credentials. This mindset nurtures curiosity and intellectual growth that enriches life indefinitely.
The difference isn’t effort—it’s mindset. Finite players chase immediate results, while infinite players invest in systems and processes that ensure lasting impact.
The Rawlsian Question: A Veil of Infinite Thinking
If you’ve ever taken an undergraduate philosophy class, you might recall John Rawls’ veil of ignorance. He asks us to imagine designing a society without knowing our starting position—rich or poor, advantaged or disadvantaged.
Given that starting point, would we create systems where only a few succeed? Or, free from self-interest, would we design systems based on collaboration and fairness?
Rawls’ veil of ignorance offers a powerful lens for understanding infinite games.
When we focus on sustaining play for everyone we create environments that encourage resilience, adaptability, and collective growth.
In life, this might mean valuing sustainability over rigid goals. For work, it could mean redefining success as building a culture where everyone thrives, rather than competing for limited resources.
This is about expanding how we view ambition. It’s shifting from a mindset of self-interest and scarcity to that of abundance, where the goal is to create space for everyone to keep playing.
From Chasing Goals to Building Growth
How do we shift from finite to infinite thinking?
By redefining success as a journey of growth, connection, and legacy.
1. Focus on Values, Not Outcomes
Finite games chase outcomes—a degree, a promotion, a title. Infinite games ask: What matters most to me? How can I align my actions with those values?
Reflection: Are your pursuits guided by who you are or by external expectations?
2. Redefine Growth
Finite games see growth as linear, measured in milestones. Infinite games view growth as expansive, encompassing creativity, perspective, and well-being.
Action: Instead of chasing more, ask: How can I grow better?
3. Embracing Curiosity and Play
Finite games pressure us to “figure things out.” Infinite games invite experimentation and adaptability.
Insight: Life isn’t about finding one “right” path. It’s about evolving through exploration.
4. Prioritizing Relationships
Finite games isolate us in competition. Infinite games thrive on collaboration and shared success.
Insight: Success isn’t a solo pursuit—it’s a collective endeavor.
5. Playing for Legacy
Finite games aim for immediate wins. Infinite games optimize for impact that lasts.
Reflection: What are you creating that will endure?
Letting go of finite markers like titles or metrics can feel disorienting, but it also frees us. Infinite thinking urges us to reframe failure as part of growth, to find joy in progress over perfection, and to trust that success comes from evolving, not arriving.
Sustaining the Infinite Game
Infinite games remind us that true success isn’t reaching the finish line; it’s creating systems that thrive, adapt, and endure.
Ask yourself:
Are my efforts building something meaningful?
Am I nurturing relationships and systems that will endure?
Ultimately, infinite thinking is about valuing adaptability over rigidity, creating with intention, and designing systems where progress compounds over time.
Success is not about playing harder. It’s about playing smarter, for longer.
Next Steps for Reflection and Action
Reflect: Identify one area of your life where you’re stuck in finite metrics. What would change if you stopped chasing short-term wins and started building for the long run? Share in the comments.
Apply: Commit to one practice that supports long-term growth, whether in a relationship, a passion project, or contributing to a greater cause.
Sources:
James P. Carse – Finite and Infinite Games (the foundational idea for rethinking success).
John Rawls – The "veil of ignorance" concept, a philosophical lens for fairness and collaboration.
Simon Sinek – Talks and writings on "The Infinite Game" and long-term leadership.
Open-source communities – Real-world examples like Linux and Mozilla, show innovation through collaboration and sustainability.